thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
a search helicopter?!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize