I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
