By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
