with your own penis?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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