Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
