My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
