Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
