I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
