just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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