I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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