his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
