you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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