yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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