i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
