come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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