I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
