i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
