please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
