You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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