i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
