5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
