I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
