i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
