Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I party with great urgency now.
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