Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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