On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
