all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
