I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
whose parrot is this?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
