I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
