what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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