i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
