i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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