: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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