i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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