Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
