We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
