Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
