member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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