Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Damn victory sex feels great
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
