last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize