have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
