masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
