Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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