I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
