he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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