absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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