did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
