i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
