i jhust puked up my retainher.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think my moral compass just broke
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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