You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We have started to decorate penises.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
