it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize