Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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