I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
