we're blogging at a bar
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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