she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
