There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My first STD was from a foam party
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
