she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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