Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
