is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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