i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We need to rekindle our bromance
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
