absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
