I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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