So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
