I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize