This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
