I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize