Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
