you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
