So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
