i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize