my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
