i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
