I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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