Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
