I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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