you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
