I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
