Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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