i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
