Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
