Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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