I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
