THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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